We’re all grateful to have survived 2020 but does anything truly change with a flick of a calendar page? Is January 1, 2021 any different than December 31, 2020? In theory, no, but if you commit to better yourself in this moment then your future will change. That simple fact is true any day of the year. It’s inevitable. Making New Years Resolutions don’t matter at all until the moment you actually change your behavior. Writing them down is just the start, but learning how to follow through is the art of change. The choice is yours.
Back to You in 2021
Before we dig deep into New Year’s Resolutions I need to tell you something that you probably don’t hear enough — LOVE YOURSELF NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE. We all are starting our transformation from a different place and it’s essential that you simply accept where you are right now. Leave any shame behind. Just trust me on this. No shame! Shame won’t get you where you need to go. Choosing your actions carefully moment to moment will, and if you fall backward, don’t worry, it’s okay, just right the ship and return to where you were just before you were derailed from your plan. You’re human and change is difficult, but it’s within you to make your life what you want it to be.
Always be compassionate toward yourself as you would a friend. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s amazing that people talk to themselves harshly; in a way they’d never talk to a friend. If they did, it would be considered cruel. Don’t beat yourself up along the way or when you stray from your path. Instead, learn from your errors in judgement and commit to making a healthier decision next time. Continually adjust your behavior and you will eventually arrive to wherever you want to go — this applies to a myriad of possibilities, such as :
- Get into shape or train for a marathon
- Find love
- Find a career that values your talents — and pays you accordingly
- Quitting smoking, drugs or even coffee
- Stop watching pornography
- Learn how to communicate better
- Get out of debt
- Start a business you’re passionate about
Change takes time and expecting instant results will be your downfall. Some changes are easier than others, so keep that in mind. All changes are not the same. For example, quitting your addiction to opiates is not the same as quitting caffeine. Learn from the experience of others for your specific changes you want to make and use their wisdom to help you make the changes that you know are causing you pain. Nobody can do it for you so stop waiting for someone to tell you to change — this is on you. You know what you need to change, and I’m urging you to begin. Don’t wait for next year, next month or next week.
Every day is a chance to begin again. Don’t ever forget this. Be good to yourself. The world needs you. Truly.
I’ll say it again — you know exactly what you need to do to become the best version of yourself; that self who only you know lives inside of you. You know as I know, and have always known. You know all of your vices that bring you shame — only you know of all of the secrets you keep from the ones you love. Change begins with a decision but before you can make a commitment to change you need to acknowledge your shortcomings; the things that bring you shame.
New Year’s Resolutions | 2021
Personally, I’ve never been one to make New Year’s Resolutions. I mean, I have in the past but stopped doing so a long time ago. Why? Because I believe that we have the opportunity to change our lives in any given moment. In truth, in my life, I’ve discovered that the most practical way to change is to consistently make adjustment towards a goal. Rather than think of change as one big decision, think about permanent change as a long sequence over time where you are constantly readjusting your behavior. We are all fighting our learned behavior and the harmful beliefs passed down to us from our youth, family, teachers and not-so-great friends. Within us is a mixed bag of dysfunction that dares to pull us back if we don’t learn to make better decisions.
Books I recommend reading to help you move forward :
- Mindset: The New Psychology of Success : Carol Dweck
- The Psychology of Money : Morgan Housel
- Compete to Create : Dr. Michael Gervais, Pete Carroll
- Can’t Hurt Me : David Goggin’s (Lots of swearing. Not for everyone)
- Extraordinary Relationships : Roberta M. Gilbert
- Understanding Complexity : Scott E. Page
- Find the Fire : Scott Mautz
- Farsighted : Steven Johnson